Keep Your Marriage Strong

I sincerely hope you had a great Mother’s Day this past Sunday with your own family and with your congregation. If your mother is still living, I hope you were able to reach out to her with your love and words of appreciation. If you have children, I hope their mother felt special and honored by you and the kids.

If you are married, I hope that Sunday provided you and your spouse with an opportunity to give undistracted attention to one another. I also hope you both regularly experience tangible moments that keep the bond between you growing and burning with passion. Cultivating a satisfying marriage is an important part of emotional and spiritual wholeness. A commitment to marriage development is pleasing to God, fulfilling to both partners, crucial in the eyes of children, and healthy for the church.

Marriage offers joy, meaning, and pleasure. The intense demands of ministry, which many consider harmful to marriage, can be used to cultivate closeness that grows out of sharing thoughts and experiencing service together. Every marriage can be better, and happily married pastors are more effective pastors. My colleagues, it’s time to demonstrate in our own marriages all we preach to others about commitment, integrity, accountability, and virtue.

Think for a moment about the topics you cover in your counseling sessions with potential brides and grooms — issues like open communication, personal finances, spiritual oneness, common interests, time alone, emotional support, marital fidelity, and expressions of love for one another. Successful marriages demand time, dedication, and work. And that’s true even in the parsonage.

Do you routinely take time to work on your marriage? Do you practice the principles you recommend to the couples you counsel? Make a concentrated, deliberate choice to strengthen your marriage by just talking to one another about ways each of you could improve the union. Take some time to get out the wedding pictures and reminisce. Play the video of your wedding. Renew your vows. Have a date night for the specific purpose of talking about your marriage and family. Gifts would not be inappropriate either. But, for sure, take a moment away from the hectic pace you’re keeping just to say to the one God has given you, “I love you!”

If your problems are more serious, find a Christian counselor who can help you work on your relationship. As the pastor, you must keep your marriage strong.

“Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord” (Ephesians 5:22). “Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them” (Colossians 3:19). “In everything, set them an example by doing what is good” (Titus 2: 7).

The Effects of Easter

“Golgotha” by Charles E. Barre

Fresh out of the tomb, Jesus began to comfort those who loved Him most. He saw Mary crying at the entrance to His grave and comforted her. “I have seen the Lord!” (John 20:18), she told the disciples. In one of my favorite biblical narratives, Jesus walked with two of His followers on the Emmaus Road. When they recognized Him, their hearts burned within them (Luke 24:32). He ate with His disciples and showed them the scars in His hands and feet. He comforted Thomas, “Stop doubting and believe” (John 20:27). Thomas was overwhelmed.

Then, there was that marvelous moment on the beach when Jesus fixed their breakfast while Peter and his comrades were out fishing. In that life-changing moment, He reinstated the one who had denied Him three times. In simple words, He commissioned Peter to “follow me.” The fisherman never looked back.

In the time before the Lord ascended into heaven, He encountered hundreds and hundreds of people. The reality of the resurrection would in time take over the world.

It’s amazing what can happen in just a few days — from loneliness to exceeding great joy, from emptiness to fulfilled!

Well, Easter has come and may be gone by the time you read this. We know the story. We have been confronted with resurrection power. Now what? The church is in many ways impotent, but the power that amazed Jesus’ disciples the week following Easter is just as powerful today as it was then. Will we recognize it? Paul wrote, “I want to know Christ and the power of his resurrection” (Philippians 3:10). How about you? The aftermath of Easter is more powerful than ever! Are you ready for it?

I always thought that one of the more enjoyable characteristics of living in Colorado Springs was that the weather could change dramatically from one day to the next (or one moment to the next). We were blessed by a sight we sometimes took for granted — Pikes Peak. It stands majestically along the Front Range of the Rocky Mountains. When you look to the west, it is nearly always visible. But there are days when the clouds hang low and the 14,000-foot peak is hidden.

It seemed strange when you couldn’t see “The Peak,” but I am reminded of a truth I heard from an old pastor years ago. He said, “Remember, son, even when the clouds hide the beauty of the mountains, the mountains are still there, and that is what makes the difference.”

What a comforting thought for folks like you and me as we pass through the Easter season. Sometimes trouble, distress, setbacks, or sickness overwhelms us to the point where we feel separated from God. During those times — behind the clouds of despair, beyond the fog of doubt — we know God is there, and that is what makes the difference. That is what we call faith.

In writing her little daily devotional book, Jesus Calling, author Sarah Young “listened to God with pen in hand, writing down whatever I believed He was saying.” Her devotionals, therefore, reflect what Jesus might say to us in first person. Open your ears of faith as you read one of her entries:


 J a n u a r y  28

I AM WITH YOU ALWAYS. These were the last words I spoke before ascending into heaven. I continue to proclaim this promise to all who will listen. People respond to My continual Presence in various ways. Most Christians accept this teaching as truth but ignore it in their daily living. Some ill-taught or wounded believers fear (and may even resent) My awareness of all they do, say, and think. A few people center their lives around this glorious promise and find themselves blessed beyond all expectations.

When My Presence is the focal point of your consciousness, all the pieces of your life fall into place. As you gaze at Me through the eyes of your heart, you can see the world around you from My perspective. The fact that I am with you makes every moment of your life meaningful.

MATTHEW 28:20;  PSALM 139:1-4


“Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see” (Hebrews 11:1).

A Time of Personal Examination

Web editor’s note: As mentioned last month, H.B. has been battling a number of health issues for the past few months. We continue to encourage you to pray for him, his family, and his doctors as he slowly heals and regains strength. Once again, we are reposting a previously used blog entry, this one from March 15, 2014. We believe it still imparts an important message and challenge for all pastors.

Spring break is taking place across the country during various weeks of this month and next — depending on one’s school, school district, or college institution. When I was young, the idea of spring break was much different than it is today. For most of us, our schools actually called it Easter break or Easter vacation, and it occurred the week between Palm Sunday and Easter. It was not the socially celebrated time to get away from home and party with friends and strangers like it seems to have become today. In fact, a lot of churches in those days planned youth camps during this week and used the time off for spiritual activities. Others did other special things. But, among many of the “high church” denominations, the emphasis at this time of the year was on Lent.

Lent is the 40 weekdays from Ash Wednesday to Easter Sunday observed by the Roman Catholic, Eastern, and some Protestant churches as a period of penitence and fasting. The term comes from the Middle English lente — meaning “springtime” — and from the Old English lencten, and was akin to the Old High German lenzin — meaning “spring.” Its first known use was in the 13th century. The Latin term is Quadragesima (a translation of the original Greek Τεσσαρακοστή, Tessarakostē, or the “Fortieth” day before Easter).

“Christ in the Wilderness” by Ivan Kramskoi

The traditional purpose of Lent is the preparation of the believer through prayer, penance, repentance of sins, almsgiving, atonement, and self-denial — linked to the 40 days Jesus spent fasting in the desert preparing for His ministry. This event, along with its pious customs, has long been observed by Christians in the Anglican, Reformed, Lutheran, Methodist, and Roman Catholic traditions. Today, some Anabaptist and evangelical churches also observe the Lenten season. During Lent, many believers commit themselves to fasting or giving up certain types of luxuries as a form of penitence. Many Christians also add a Lenten spiritual discipline, such as reading a daily devotional, to draw themselves nearer to God.

I believe that — for you, my colleague — the Lenten Season should be much more than planning for a big crowd and festive weekend. It should also be a time of personal preparation for your heart, your attitude, your message, and your relationship with the risen Christ. The apostle Paul wrote, “For I resolved to know nothing while I was with you except Jesus Christ and him crucified. I came to you in weakness and fear, and with much trembling. My message and my preaching were not with wise and persuasive words, but with a demonstration of the Spirit’s power, so that your faith might not rest on men’s wisdom, but on God’s power” (1 Corinthians 2:2-5).

As a pastor, I used the days from Ash Wednesday to Easter Sunday to call my people to a time of personal examination. Every service, including midweek, had an Easter theme that would draw people along the road to Jerusalem, to the foot of the cross, and into the celebration of the empty tomb.

During the Lenten Season, I would ask our congregation:

  1.   Who among us has someone to forgive?
  2.   Who among us has a blockage that would keep the Holy Spirit from moving freely in his or her life?
  3.   Who among us has allowed his or her relationship with the risen Lord to stagnate?

What if, during this time of preparation, you guided your people to a new plateau of intimacy with Jesus? (Of course, it is nearly impossible to guide another to a place you haven’t been to or experienced yourself.) The celebration of Easter can hold great significance, especially to the new believer. I pray that your Easter activities will be underscored by the Spirit’s power.

“Everyone who has this hope in him purifies himself, just as he is pure” (1 John 3:3).

A Covenant for Pastors

Web editor’s note: As many of you may know (especially if you follow H.B. London on Facebook), H.B. has been battling a number of health issues for the past few months. We would encourage you to pray for him, his family, and his doctors as he continues to heal and regain strength. In order to relieve some pressure from him, we are reposting his blog entry from January 30, 2012, when this blog was only two-and-a-half months old and the web site was in its eighth month of existence. We believe it still imparts an important message and challenge for all pastors.

Ministry today is more difficult than it has ever been. It seems that each day we hear of another colleague in ministry who has fallen into immorality, another who has burned out, another who has in some way weakened the credibility of those called to God’s ministry. Why is this happening in record numbers today?

I think that, amidst the hectic expectations that we encounter in “real” ministry, we often lose sight of the commitments we made when we first accepted Christ as our Savior and Lord. Perhaps the standards by which we promised to live when we followed His call to be His ministers have been overshadowed by exhaustion or carelessness. Whatever the cause, we in ministry more and more are facing a crisis of integrity, righteousness, and credibility.

I believe it is crucial that we regain our focus and recommit ourselves to a lifestyle pleasing to the Lord, to our congregations, to our families, and to ourselves. We pastors are joined together by a common call of God to feed His sheep, but we are also tied by a common commitment to purity, holiness, righteousness, and faithfulness. This agreement transcends theological differences, denominational connections, and local congregational constraints. We are bound to one another by our calls and by the knowledge that one day the Great Shepherd will be the final Judge.

Several years ago, I introduced a concept I called the Shepherd’s Covenant®. It is a strategy for the moral, spiritual, and ethical protection of pastors based on the guidelines practiced by the Good Shepherd. The Shepherd’s Covenant® is built on the acronym G-R-A-C-E. Here are the basics of that covenant:

While this new year is still young, look at the first of these elements. How are you doing with accountability — genuine accountability?

  • Do you meet regularly with a colleague?
  • Do you really engage and challenge one another?
  • Do you pray for and support one another?

You need your accountability colleague — your colleague needs you! I realize accountability relationships are fluid, but they are very worthwhile. If you are having a tough time finding someone, select a pastor in town who has an assignment similar to yours and ask him to join you for a coffee break. It is amazing how productive those times can be. Honest, the members of the clergy that most often find their ministries in jeopardy are those who have no accountability. So, how are you doing?

“A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother” (Proverbs 18:24).

Having a Heart for Peace

This is the weekend we celebrate the life of Rev. Martin Luther King, Jr. It is my impression that Rev. King was essentially a man of peace. He often found inequality or injustice in our nation, but he generally sought a resolution through peaceful means. He is best known for his role in the advancement of civil rights using nonviolent civil disobedience based on his Christian beliefs. On October 14, 1964, King even received the Nobel Peace Prize for combating racial inequality through nonviolent resistance. (King was posthumously awarded the Presidential Medal of Freedom and the Congressional Gold Medal. Martin Luther King Jr. Day was established as a holiday in numerous cities and states beginning in 1971, and as a U.S. federal holiday in 1986.)

Violence is an attitude that permeates our society: grown men fighting one another at their sons’ Little League games, a father assaulting a teenage referee in a soccer game, one gang in a poor area of a city conducting a “turf” war with another gang, an unborn baby having his or her life terminated for the sake of convenience, a deacon threatening a pastoral staff member, and, lately, voters whose candidate did not win attacking voters whose candidate won in shameful and reproachable ways. There’s a kind of “get even” mentality that finds its way into every corner of our relationships — even in the church. One of my most embarrassing moments as a pastor was my involvement in a church league basketball game brawl. It was terrible!

In our Lord’s discourse on the end times, He indicates that “nation will rise against nation, and kingdom against kingdom” (Matthew 24:7). In other words, there will be war everywhere you look. That seems to be the case today. Not only do we have wars raging; we also have rumors of more wars to come.

I hate the thought of war. I am well aware of the concept and why we engage in war, but it is difficult to think of so many people hating so many other people enough to want to kill them. It’s even worse when innocent soldiers are sent to kill other innocent soldiers simply because their leaders can’t get along. I am not being overly naive — I just hate war.

Why do we do these things? The answer: wickedness of the human heart. “The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it?” (Jeremiah 17:9). Paul explained part of the reason for mortal conflict when he said, “The acts of the sinful nature are … hatred, discord … [and] dissensions” (Galatians 5:19-20). In other words, the motivation that causes war between nations is the same one that causes neighbors to do bodily harm to one another because the snow is not removed from the sidewalk. Or a church member to have such hatred for his pastor that he would do nearly anything to see the pastor lose his or her job. Or someone to assassinate Martin Luther King, Jr. Or kill a president. Or murder a spouse.

The heart — that which tempers our reactions and causes us to love or hate — is basically evil. And unless there is radical surgery on the heart, there will never be peace. That is why Jesus said, “Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives” (John 14:27). His peace is a transformation of the mind brought about by a changed heart.

Hearts must be changed. That is why you need to preach it: “Change my heart, O God.” “He will judge between the nations and will settle disputes for many peoples” (Isaiah 2:4). Unless our hearts are changed by a relationship with Jesus, we will continue to hurt one another.

There will be a time when, like all men, we will stand before the awesome Judge of the universe and account for our behavior. Only then will we know genuine and complete justice. Unfortunately, the church does not talk much about judgment anymore, and because of that, a generation of people is going through life uninformed and unforgiven. That is a shame, because judgment is an integral part of the gospel.

Pastor, preach the whole gospel — not just the parts people want to hear. A dying world is in need of God’s saving grace. “For it is time for judgment to begin with the family of God; and if it begins with us, what will the outcome be for those who do not obey the gospel of God?” (1 Peter 4:17).

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